B4 i was saved, i didnt kno wat luv or where i cud find tru luv – i was very unhappy wit my lif & was angry @ God 4 allowin me 2 b born into dis world – i jus wanted peace, i wanted 2 b happy, i wanted 2 b wit Him – i had family & was raised up in church, but i didnt feel i cud share wat i was goin thru wit any1 – cuz even if i ppl wud c my family … See Moreas a happy family dat is dedicated 2 church, in close doorz, me & my sistas had 2 watch my dad argue, beat my mom & den turn around & hit us – u cant even imagine da emotional scarz dat i had to hold inside as a child – i began to try to tak my lif away startn at 8 yrs old, but God wudnt permit me & i wud argue wit Him & asked Him ‘why?’ – wen i reached my early teens, i jus let myself go – my parents divorce hit me hard; i got tired of talkn wit God cuz i felt He wasnt listenin or dat He had given up on me – i bgan to listen to da liez of da enemy, dat God didnt luv or care bout me – my mom & my sistas had to move 2 da projects wen i was around 14 yrs old…

I began 2 hangout wit da wrong crowd, & got involved in drugs – even if i had friends & family, i was still so unhappy – since i didnt hav my fatha in my lif, i felt dat void & so i tried 2 find a boyfriend – i jus wanted a guy to keep me company, to listen to me – i thought i cud find dat luv in a guy – but still, even if i had a man, i still felt… See More so depressed – one of my ex sexually molested me & dat hit me hard – i was already goin thru so much & dat jus made me feel worse – up to dat point at time, every nite i kept gettn deze dreams of me bein on a high buildn & thrown myself off of it & as i was falln down i was enjoyn dat moment of peace – so i planned 2 commit suicide – i was livin in a 8 floor project buildin & one day i went up to da roof, i thought ‘dis iz it! afta dis i will be in heaven & b wit God’ – lies of da enemy i continued 2 hear – he told me if u throw urself down, God will command his angels concerning you, & dey will lift up in dere hands., dey will catch u… meet u, dey will catch u..

..wen i was in da world, i didnt know da scriptures, though since young i had desire 2 preach, i neva read da bible often ..so wen i was up on dat roof, satan quoted me, almost in da exact same way, he quoted Jesus in Matthew 4:6 also found in Psalms 91:11-12 – & i was goin 2 believe him – wen i let go, i thought ‘im goin to feel peace i’v been … See Moredreamin bout – i get to c God face to face – He will meet me wit open arms’ – in dat very moment i was about to do it, but God put da fear of heights in me – i cudnt do it – i cudnt look down – i cudnt let go – i was upset wit God – i said, y dont u let me do it? y do u keep stopping me from killing myself? i dont want to b hear anymore.. i want to b wit u’ – it was not til i accepted Christ @ age 16 dat i fully understood y – God has a purpose 4 my lif – if i da fear of heights didnt hit me hard, i wud hav comitted suicide & spent da rest of eternity in hell – God was tryn to stop me from making wat wudv been da biggest mistake of my life – i thank God dat He came on…

…time – in Christ Jesus i found tru luv – wen i was unsaved, i always cried out to God – i didnt kno of Jesus -He is the Way, the Truth, n the Life. no one comes to da Fatha except thru Him – for God soo luved not only me, but da world (His creation), that He gav His one n only Son, dat whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but hav eternal … See Morelif – i had 2 share my testimony cuz each day i wake up, i cant help but to thank Him – if u’v been questionin GODS PURPOSE in ur life, please hold on 2 Him & dont let Him go – u was called for a purpose – da times i felt alone, da times i shed tearz in close doorz, da days i cried out to Him, He was dere & is still here – wen u dont undastand y, He helps u undastand y – Gods thoughts & will always b higher dan ours, but His luv towards u will neva change – God bless every1

I just wanted 2 add dat it did tak a wile 4 me to 4giv, 4get, let go & let GOD – n along da way, God began to heal da emotion scarz, so i’m not goin to lie & say i was instantly healed, cuz da drama i went thru took time 2 heal